That's how I feel alot of the time here...like a child. maybe that's a little appropriate now since it's Easter...ou "Paques" en francais. But I don't know...here's why this feeling has been especially acute within the last 2 days...
Yesterday, we started the weekend with a lovely brunch. it's was awesome...Nadia, a student here, received a package from her family that contained some different cheeses, dried meats, and chocolate from Europe. So...she decided she wanted to bless us all by sharing them with everyone. It was really cool...and the cheese was amazing, I have to say. :) anyway...so near the end of the meal, people started telling jokes. sometimes, I just hate that, because everyone's laughing at this joke, and I have no clue what it means because it was all in French. sometimes, I could get the idea of it...but then eveyone looks at me and asks,"did you understand?" and then they would explain the joke to me. it's funny, and hard to explain. because I really really appreciate that they want me to understand. that means alot. I'm having more a problem with my pride, I think. I'm used to being generally independant...and I hate it when I can't say what I want to say when I want to say it. it's really hard to for me to have to depend on others for me to be able to communicate. sometimes, I just want to feel normal, like everyone else and not need people to translate for me. agggh...it's hard to feel so needy sometimes. I had a funny little conversation with Olivier about this in the laundry room. it's funny, even though we can't easily speak to eachother, he always knows when something's bothering me...and he gets in my face, looks me right in the eyes and asks, "CAVA, Abby??" Olivier's been there for me so many times, he's really been a blessing. so anyway...we were talking, me in my broken french, and once he discovered what was bothering me he started laughing, and said, "tu es une femme independant!" or in english, "you're an independant woman!" yeah it's true, for alot of things, I like to be on my own....not everything, but most things. Olivier then went on to inform me that this is so good for me, that God is molding and stretching me...all that stuff. yeah I know it's true.
Yesterday, we started the weekend with a lovely brunch. it's was awesome...Nadia, a student here, received a package from her family that contained some different cheeses, dried meats, and chocolate from Europe. So...she decided she wanted to bless us all by sharing them with everyone. It was really cool...and the cheese was amazing, I have to say. :) anyway...so near the end of the meal, people started telling jokes. sometimes, I just hate that, because everyone's laughing at this joke, and I have no clue what it means because it was all in French. sometimes, I could get the idea of it...but then eveyone looks at me and asks,"did you understand?" and then they would explain the joke to me. it's funny, and hard to explain. because I really really appreciate that they want me to understand. that means alot. I'm having more a problem with my pride, I think. I'm used to being generally independant...and I hate it when I can't say what I want to say when I want to say it. it's really hard to for me to have to depend on others for me to be able to communicate. sometimes, I just want to feel normal, like everyone else and not need people to translate for me. agggh...it's hard to feel so needy sometimes. I had a funny little conversation with Olivier about this in the laundry room. it's funny, even though we can't easily speak to eachother, he always knows when something's bothering me...and he gets in my face, looks me right in the eyes and asks, "CAVA, Abby??" Olivier's been there for me so many times, he's really been a blessing. so anyway...we were talking, me in my broken french, and once he discovered what was bothering me he started laughing, and said, "tu es une femme independant!" or in english, "you're an independant woman!" yeah it's true, for alot of things, I like to be on my own....not everything, but most things. Olivier then went on to inform me that this is so good for me, that God is molding and stretching me...all that stuff. yeah I know it's true.
hmmm, it's still really hard. I know the Lord is doing so many awesome things in my character...and it gives me peace to think about it, "that He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it..." That means God's always working, but He works towards completion, it's not up to me to complete the work He does. that's comforting.
I'm really blessed with an awesome family here.
So, on another note...we're leaving for Paris in a week and a half. I'm extremely excited ;) but before Paris, we're spending a week in a place called Sherbrooke. we're going to be doing work in highschools. so, this week we're preparing performances and other things for that. I'm a little nervous, but I'm learning that there's not a whole lot I can accomplish by being scared, so why not just dive in?
well...I must be off, I have some homework to finish. here's a picture we took last thursday...it's still snowing here, it's crazy....reminds me a little of Minnesota....
anyway...g'night, bon nuit! I love you all very much.
~Abby
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