My favorite City

I love Salt Lake city. That's all there is to it :) and I love the people here that make me call it home. I've been back since...the 9th? That sounds about right. It's been a crazy blur of things since my return here from Quebec, and then Pittsburgh. Coming back was a little overwhelming, it took awhile before the feeling of being on another planet wore off. Still, things feel a bit odd, and kinda temporary. I feel pretty confident that God's called me to be a missionary, and I'm waiting for Him to tell me what that means. ya know what? Waiting is HARD. But at the same time, I believe and know that God is going to come through for me, because He's awesome, and He doesn't leave His kids hanging. Honestly, at the same time...I'm feeling uncertain and impatient.
Kurt and Liz, the couple from my church that I live with, are awesome. I'm so thankful that God has put them in my life, not only in my life, but living with them. They're like my parents, kinda. Every night I come home and am greeted by Kurt yelling, "Abby!" Then I come into the family room and we talk about eachothers' day and watch decorating shows on HGTV. I love it. A few nights ago when I was all uncertain about what God's doing in my life, they reminded me that it's just a season, and God's using this time to draw me closer to Him and He'll come through in miraculous ways. I know it's true, because that's what I was feeling in my heart, but it's wonderful that God allows me to share my burdens with much wiser people than I...and He uses them to confirm His promises. I am very blessed at home.
At the moment, I have some crazy decisions ahead of me...and I'm waiting on God to tell me what He desires me to do. Jodi, my pastor's wife, explains it like being a waitress at a restaurant.
God is sitting at the table, I come up and ask Him, "may I take your order?" and I wait for His response. If He's taking longer than I prefer, I don't run to the kitchen and bring Him something I think He might like...I wait. I may discuss some items on the menu with Him, but ultimately, the decision is His. So yes, this is my role at the moment. Kurt thinks all this stuff going on in my life is really cool and exciting. Also, he added, it makes for some "interesting drama." We'll see how it all unfolds.
On a different note, I've been painting like crazy. The youth pastor I'm working for, is allowing me to use part of the youth room for my personal art studio! It's pretty cool, and totally from God, because I have the hardest time getting anything done when I'm at home. It's so funny...whenever I need something for my artwork...God always provides. Other day, I had just finished. a painting and I was thinking, "if only I had some tracing paper(I like to use it to cover my paintings)." I walked down the hall, and I saw a big bag, inside the bag was a whole giant tablet of tracing paper I had left there from almost a year ago :) Painting for me is still a process. I'm learning more and more that it's about enjoying the journey and not always stressing out about the results. I can be kind of a control freak. So, anyway...that's what's going on...there's alot up in the air at the moment. We'll see what happens and I'll do my best to keep you all updated, if you wouldn't mind, please keep me in your prayers. Hi Baimes!
Lotsa love!
~Abbythepeach

In the giant bathtub...

Here I am in Salt Lake City, Utah....I arrived here just a few days ago...
So, for the past month I've been with my family in Pennsylvania...and in Michigan on Bois Blanc Island for two weeks. It was really wonderful to be with all of them, especially my mom, I love her so much, she's the best ;) The island was great too. I love the fact that that place never changes much. I've been going there since I was born, and it still feels like home. So, as great as it was to spend time with my family, it was really intense and hard. Like I said before, my parents are going through some difficulties with my little brother, Ben. A lot of time was spent trying to cope with this and figuring out how to help Ben. He's really an awesome kid...and he's been through some crazy difficult things in his 9 years of life. So yes...please pray for him.
I wanted to write a nice long post about the trip the island and what not...but since I've been back in Utah so much has been going on that it's hard to focus on anything but the past week. So...I'll leave you with some pictures of the beautiful island! God blessed me with the gift of a digital camera while at my parents' house in PA (thanks mom!). Oh yes...washing one's hair in the lake makes for a real good time! :D
Love, Abby
P.S. My family rocks!

the greenhouse

Hey all...

sorry it's been so long since I've written anything, lately I feel as though I've been moving from one temporary situation to another and it's hard to settle myself down. My last couple weeks in Dunham were really special and I treasured them very much...especially the time I was able to spend with all my friends before we seperated. So, since the 5th of July, I've been with my family. My dad drove up to Dunham to pick me up and take me on the 12 hour ride "home." I spent about two weeks with my mom, dad, and little brother Ben. AH! it was so weird to be back with them in that house. I guess you could say I felt a little displaced...all of a sudden everything was different, and everything was in english. how strange. There are alot of special challenges surrounding my family...particularly involving my brother. It's was really difficult to be home and suddenly in the midst of something I didn't feel like I was ready to face. But ya know, God knows all of this...He knew where I was headed, and always provides us with His strength just in time. During our last week in DTS we talked about re-entry, and that DTS was sort of like a greenhouse- an environment where we were protected and we could grow freely in God. I feel as though I felt the effects of leaving the greenhouse almost immediately. I'm truly blessed that God led me to take some extra days in Dunham after DTS to rest...He know I would need it!

Anyway...besides that, it's been wonderful to spend this time with my family. My parents are amazing, brave, and couragous people. My brother is the coolest kid, and also, very brave.

My mom has blessed me SO much since I've been here. She's taken me shopping! hehe, it was so fun to be with her and also get new clothes...especially after wearing the same ones for 6 months. I love being with my mom...and to be girly with her. ya know, it funny. Africa caused me to appreciate something I never expected- wearing skirts! I love wearing them now, and I hated wearing them before...how funny.

It's really strange to come home -or a place I used to live, because pittsburgh isn't exactly my home- and be faced with the sort of person I was before, or at least, what I was accustomed to before. When I came back to my old room, I saw for the first time just how much stuff I had...and useless stuff at that. So many clothes, that I hadn't worn in years and would never wear again w ere piled everywhere. For some reason before, I couldn't manage to get rid of them. So, the next day, I cleaned out all of them and donated them to a thrift store. Anyway...yeah. I also had a very nice easal waiting for me to use! hooray :) I've had that for a couple years now...I thought about it alot while I was in Dunham. It's fun to paint on it... yes.

So all this to say, re-entry is a trip... and I have another sort of re-entry when I go back to Salt lake in a week. God's here with me...and it's really amazing to know that and feel that He's bringing me home...and is leading me right now, at this very moment...even if I can't see what He's doing yet. That's all for now...it's time for dinner!

Much love,

~Abby

Home

Hey Everyone :)
So, I'm home...well, Canada, anyway. There's so much to say, but at the moment, I don't have alot of time. I promise I'll write later! I'm still in Dunham, so I have alot of time. DTS officially ended on wednesday....it feels a little strange, like a dream. Anyway, I have to go....but I'll leave you with a picture of me and Radja Nuba (Grace of God).
~Abby

time to go to Paris ;)

Hey so...I'm going to Paris today! hehe...I've never been able to say that until now. I think it feels pretty cool :) So, I'm still at the base now, we'll be leaving in a couple hours for the airport. I don't really know how to feel though. I mean, it's completely awesome that I get to go...but at the same time, I know it's going to be really intense, and I'll be almost completely out of contact with my family. This is something about YWAM that I think is a little twisted. they emphasize/insist on openness, otherwise you won't grow or learn anything, that makes sense. the twisted part is that, in being so open, you build some really intense and deep friendships. So, while you're in YWAM, you miss your family like crazy, but gain a new family that you can't bear the thought of leaving, but at the same time, all you want to do is see your real family again. GRR. I really hate it....but I love it at the same time. yeah...so that's what I'm thinking right now. it almost makes me want to close myself off from people....but at the same time, it makes me want to love even more...'cause if we only have 6 months, we might as well make the most of it. hmmm, I can tell I'm not being very coherant right now. heh, sorry...I'm gonna be in Africa in a week, I'm a little freaked out. ;)
but yeah....I don't know, life is good. God is so good...and I know that He only wants the best for me, that's a comforting thought. anyway....regretfully, its time to go...it's time for me to leave you all, and my laptop for 2 months. hehe, that was a little dramatic ;) but seriously....I love you all like crazy, please keep me in your prayers, and I'll keep you in mine :)
LOVE YOU!!!
~Abby

outreach begins

Hey guys...
so today, we left the house around 6am and headed to where we are now: Sherbrooke, Quebec. Today was crazy :) we arrived at the high school around 8:30am...and then started giving presentations. we had five groups of students throughout the day and presented some creative stuff, like hip hop, swing dance, music etc...and shared the gospel with them. it was a really awesome experience, yeah..by the end we were all pretty tired. It`s cool, while we`re in Sherbrooke, we`re all staying at different homes. Emily and I are staying together :) yay!! The people we`re staying with are so cool. they don`t speak alot of english...about as much as I speak french, so we spent our dinner together trying to talk to eachother with Emily translating sometimes. it was alot of fun :) tomorrow, our team has a press conference. weird, eh? I don`t know what that`ll be like. anyway...I`m sleepy, so I`m gonna go. I`m sorry if this typing is all weird looking, I`m on a french computer, so I can make cool symbols like: £ § ¤ ¢ ¾ ½ ¼ ¦ é! hehe, it`s cool. anyway, I`m gonna go relax :)
I love you all! thank you all for your prayers, please don`t stop.
Love, Abby

Ohhh gosh.

yes...that's the sound I make every time I stand up or pretty much use my legs in any way. the past two days, I think I've danced more that I have in my whole life. that may be a slight exaggeration, I'm not sure. Tomorrow, our team is heading to Sherbrooke to do creative presentations and ministry in high schools. we divided ourselves up into several creative teams to come up with things to present. I'm on the swing dance team :) it's really awesome, Gab and Rebecca, our DTS leaders are professional swing dancers, so I feel like I'm learning the proper and safe way to swing dance, that's something I hadn't grasped before. So, we've been learning all sorts of cool moves, including drops and ariel called the "frog." Hopefully it should go okay :) we've practiced our routine so many times but we've only done it perfecrtly once. I know it's in God's hands...so, yeah. Please pray for this week, that God will work through us...that we will be yielded to Him.
wow, I'm so tired, I feel like I've been running constantly. this past week has been a bit insane, there hasn't really been a time to relax. all week we've been preparing, and yesterday we hosted a YWAM Quebec event. Gab asked me to share/speak at the event about some of the stuff God had done in my life while I was here. So...I was a bit nervous, God is so awesome though, and He worked it out. Today, my roommate Sara, and I had to clean out our room. we had to take nearly everything out and pack it all up in our suitcases and then clean or room. I've only been here 3 months, but I had so much junk. So, I'm finally at a stopping point, and I'm gonna go to bed. I have to get up at 5am tomorrow, which is something I haven't done in a while. it's funny to think that I used to get up at 4:30am for work at Starbucks...yikes. anyway...I haven't decided if I'm bringing my laptop to Sherbrooke or not, so who knows :)
anyway, bedtime!
Love you all!
P.S. Guess what? I have all my outreach fees!!! thank you all so much for everything.

~Abby

comme un enfant

That's how I feel alot of the time here...like a child. maybe that's a little appropriate now since it's Easter...ou "Paques" en francais. But I don't know...here's why this feeling has been especially acute within the last 2 days...
Yesterday, we started the weekend with a lovely brunch. it's was awesome...Nadia, a student here, received a package from her family that contained some different cheeses, dried meats, and chocolate from Europe. So...she decided she wanted to bless us all by sharing them with everyone. It was really cool...and the cheese was amazing, I have to say. :) anyway...so near the end of the meal, people started telling jokes. sometimes, I just hate that, because everyone's laughing at this joke, and I have no clue what it means because it was all in French. sometimes, I could get the idea of it...but then eveyone looks at me and asks,"did you understand?" and then they would explain the joke to me. it's funny, and hard to explain. because I really really appreciate that they want me to understand. that means alot. I'm having more a problem with my pride, I think. I'm used to being generally independant...and I hate it when I can't say what I want to say when I want to say it. it's really hard to for me to have to depend on others for me to be able to communicate. sometimes, I just want to feel normal, like everyone else and not need people to translate for me. agggh...it's hard to feel so needy sometimes. I had a funny little conversation with Olivier about this in the laundry room. it's funny, even though we can't easily speak to eachother, he always knows when something's bothering me...and he gets in my face, looks me right in the eyes and asks, "CAVA, Abby??" Olivier's been there for me so many times, he's really been a blessing. so anyway...we were talking, me in my broken french, and once he discovered what was bothering me he started laughing, and said, "tu es une femme independant!" or in english, "you're an independant woman!" yeah it's true, for alot of things, I like to be on my own....not everything, but most things. Olivier then went on to inform me that this is so good for me, that God is molding and stretching me...all that stuff. yeah I know it's true.

hmmm, it's still really hard. I know the Lord is doing so many awesome things in my character...and it gives me peace to think about it, "that He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it..." That means God's always working, but He works towards completion, it's not up to me to complete the work He does. that's comforting.

I'm really blessed with an awesome family here.

So, on another note...we're leaving for Paris in a week and a half. I'm extremely excited ;) but before Paris, we're spending a week in a place called Sherbrooke. we're going to be doing work in highschools. so, this week we're preparing performances and other things for that. I'm a little nervous, but I'm learning that there's not a whole lot I can accomplish by being scared, so why not just dive in?

well...I must be off, I have some homework to finish. here's a picture we took last thursday...it's still snowing here, it's crazy....reminds me a little of Minnesota....

anyway...g'night, bon nuit! I love you all very much.

~Abby

And it's over...

Tonight, we had a big YWAM party to signify the end of our lecture phase. next week, everything's going to change. hehe, I'm so ready for a change. lately, our schedule's been a little varied, which is nice, but it feels like it's time for a change, a big one. on a side note, nobody warned me ahead of time that there would be so many parties in YWAM. well, there's a good amount of people on our base, so we have a b-day party on avaerge, once a week. everytime we have a party, it's a different theme, most of the time it requires dressing up. this has become an issue for me...I own only two pair of heels and since I was going off to "missionary school," I didn't think I'd need them! little did I know. also, I didn't bring any sort skirt or dress (I don't own many of those either). yeah so...it's starting to bug me...because at every party I'm not really dressed up, and each time, people ask me, "why aren't you dressed up, don't you like this kinda thing?" and each time I explain all over again that I didn't bring any nice clothes with me. hehe...I know it's stupid that I'm rambling on about this, but yeah, it's been annoying me a little bit. that's one reason why I'm so excited to go on outreach...it won't matter if I'm dressed up or not! naah, just kidding. kinda. but I am so so so excited about outreach.
anyway...so tonight we had our party. it was that "vintage" party I mentioned before. I spent the past few days working on some vintage looking paintings for decoration. I'd planned for five paintings, but managed to finish three. I'm gonna finish the other ones later. man, it was so much fun! these were the sort of pictures I used to make when I was little. it felt like glorified doodling to me. I loved it. it's funny...because I guess I never realized how special art can be to someone. Janet, the completely awesome lady whose in charge of hospitality, decided to hold a raffel as part of the evening, to win these paintings. I was told one girl actually cried a little when she realized she didn't win. I didn't know what to do with that information. people throughout the evening came up to me and told me how beautiful my paintings were. Olivier said I was "incredible." I didn't know what to do with any of this....I just said thank you. it's just so strange to me...I don't know. I mean, these paintings, in my mind, weren't amazing, they weren't realistic at all. they took so little time, and were so easy and fun. I don't know...I loved that people liked my work, and that I was able to bless people through it...and I did enjoy the attention somewhat. but, I also felt really....uncomfortable. at one point during the evening everyone started cheering for me, and chanting my name. AGGH...it was so awkward. I'd never recieved that sort of reaction before. and you know, it's not MY talent...it's God's gift that He's entrusted me with. I look at a painting I did, people ask me how I painted it...and I have no idea, it just comes out. the cool thing is, that I see myself really beginning to enjoy this gift. that, my friend, is something totally new. plus, when I have awkward moments like what I said before, it's hard for me to not see my value in what I do. I'm valuable because I'm who I am...but of course I don't get that kind of attention for not doing anything. that's normal. I have a little bit of an issue in thinking in extremes. especially when it comes to myself. but yeah...the really funky part of the situation was, when it was over...all I really wanted to do was go cry somewhere and ramble on about how I didn't understand myself. I forced myself not to do this, and danced with everyone else instead. Emily and I danced the night away. I LOVE her...she's an amazing woman, and a great friend. it was cool, we danced to the song, "April in Paris." it's like our song, because in 2 weeks, we'll be in Paris, and it's April! :D our last guest speaker lives in Paris and we'll be working with him on outreach. Today when we were saying good-bye, I said something I've never got to say to anyone: "see you in Paris!" it was pretty awesome.
well, that's it for now, it's time for bed. please keep praying...especially for outreach provision and such. Thank you! I love you!
~Abby

those pesky details...

Hello everyone :)
It's been a frightfully long time since I've written in any sort of online journal. I gave up on it awhile back because I couldn't get past feeling like I was writing for an audience. But, here's another try! So...thing's around here have been going well. We're preparing ourselves for outreach, we'll be leaving pretty soon. agggh it's crazy. Last night we had our outreach meeting, and we were required to fill out 3 identical forms to aquire our visa. Hehe, it sound simple, right? well...not quite. Once we realized we needed to write in all caps, and some of the questions were translated wrong, most of us needed new copies. It took quite alot longer than any of us realised it would...we were all a bit crazy by the end. So, today we took a trip into town to get our pictures taken for our visas. Here's something I never realized about other countries: you're not allowed to smile in photos used for official documents. Amoung all the students here, I'm the only one smiling in their passport photo. Hmmm. So today, when I went in to take my picture, the guy took one and showed it to me. I was like, "yeah that's fine." So I started to walk out, when I realized I was smiling in my picture. hehe, ooops. So, we had to do it over, and I spent the whole time concentrating on not smiling. The picture looks pretty horrible, because all the muscles in my face are trying to do anything but smile....I guess you could say I ended up looking somewhat constipated. ah well....
The rest of the afternoon we spent at wal-mart buying gear and such. It's funny how exciting a trip to wal-mart is to me now. Our base in very much in the country. We don't get out much!
Anyway...I best be going. Our school is having a "vintage" style dinner on friday to celebrate the end of our lecture phase. I'm making drawings/posters of vintage fashion etc for the decor. It's so FUN. I always loved doing "fashion illustration," it's cool that it can actually be used for something :) But, all that to say that I need to go work on them.
Love you all! A plus tard.
~Abby